i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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