was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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