Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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