his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
