If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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