Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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