He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize