just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize