omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
