you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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