Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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