you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize