She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
