smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
