...so i touched it.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
what day is it and did you see me today?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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