and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Randomize
