It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
