I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
