I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
