Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
