when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
my being single is dangerous.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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