and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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