all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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