either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
