i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
