Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
