i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize