All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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