ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
there was a trapeze. enough said
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
