The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
