my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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