I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
