my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
