whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
