we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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