if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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