Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
