Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
