dude i'm inner monologue high
I intend to get homeless drunk
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
