me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
