I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
