I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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