Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
