He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
