ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
