Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
