Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
