I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
