I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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