I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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