I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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