IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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