escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
BRING THE BAGELS
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
