Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
