No, you can still breathe under the balls.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
