dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
