His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
