I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
