also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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