The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
